A race well run

I have not had the energy to post. I am heartbroken. A very dear friend was violently killed by an evil man several weeks ago in Atlanta while riding her bike. Her name was Jennifer Ewing as many of you know, and she was an incredible woman. I have known the family for about 13 years and all of the members exemplify Christ. Jennifer (I always called her Mrs. Ewing) loved to laugh, and she was, in terms of strength, an oak. When I got the news, I couldn't even stand. I ache almost physically for what that family is having to endure right now.
I am grieving for the things that will come and go without her. I grew up with her eldest son Jimmy, we constantly bickered throughout high school and college and both enjoyed it immensely. I watched as her daughter Margaret became a beautiful woman, and I might add a formidable opponent on whatever athletic venue she chose. George who is the youngest, is still friends with my precious brother Jimmy even after all the years being away from Atlanta. I prayed continually the day I found out, not ever questioning God's sovereignty but asking, why? Why are we completely protected sometimes and not others? I feel like I received somewhat of an answer in the week to come.
I believe she was assasinated by the enemy.
Mrs. Ewing was a giant in the faith, a general if you will. An example of a life lived to its fullest every day. There was such a passion in her, it really could not be contained. You felt it after meeting her once. She let Christ consume her and it was beautiful to watch. I feel like a leader has been snatched out of our camp in the middle of the night. I also believe that this is a wake up call to all of us who have become complacent. God has a plan, and he will absolutely glorify His name through this. I am praying that her legacy, which involves the children, will spread to others who hear about this. I feel that the man who did this was a pawn in a much larger game than this crime, and we need to get mad.
Jennifer was on a list. The list that targets who is furthering the kingdom. Some of us are definitely not on that list because we are not threatening the enemy's work here at all. We have become complacent. At her funeral, which was a definite celebration service even in the midst of such deep sorrow, I thought-I have thirty years to get to the age she was...thirty years to affect and bless this many people. I love the Lord, passionately, but I am called to do much more than I have been. I want to be even more outspoken, I want to strive for excellence in everything. This is a war, and Satan is not out to just give the occasional bad dream.
I feel like we have come to accept a "G" rated christianity, and it's just not. We will unfortunately, have casualties. In the early church there were many martyrs. I feel like Mrs. Ewing died for Christ. I also feel that her death meant something and will jolt many out of our daily reverie. We need to be on our knees in intercession for each other continually, and I don't mean "Lord let them have a good day," kind of prayers.
There are weapons designed just for us to use in this life, we need to practice with them-get the feel of the sword in our hand, get used to the heaviness of it and slowly develop the callouses and muscles needed to wield it without harm to ourselves. This is a country of baby christians and I am not pointing at everyone else.
I had a dream years ago, and in it there was a large snake, there were actually hundreds of snakes, but this was the leader. In my dream there was a man passing out guns to kill this snake, he said "You must hunt him and kill him, or he will find you and kill you."
The only problem was that each gun had a slightly bent end. The deal was that they would work just fine, but you had to practice with them, to adjust your shot slightly. When I woke up, I knew what this meant. We live in a world that we were never designed for. Sin is a terrible thing to come into contact with constantly, in a way it is death that we experience daily. We do have a means to fight back, but it requires much practice. We cannot just expect to pick up the defense Christ has given and be able to "shoot anything that moves." That would be like letting me play in the world cup- I am neither capable of doing anything but kick people as they run past which although I would enjoy doing, I have not put in the years of dedication to earn that honor. Jenni had put in the years it took to earn that honor. She had the callouses and the muscle that it took. I loved her and miss her, but will see her again. I will also strive to be able to meet her warrior to warrior when I arrive.