Cortisol, schmortisol.

I think I have an adrenal problem. This basically involves your adrenals getting really tired because you have been using too much of what it produces. In a nutshell, when you get stressed, your body uses its supply of cortisol (the anti-stress hormone) which is just one of the many hormones your body makes. This is way simplified of course. Last week I took a test to check my adrenal function. They should absolutely redesign this thing for different people. The first one should be for normal people, the second, for women with up to two children, and the third, for women with three or more little munchkins. This last one should just involve a delivery man coming to your front door, holding out a tupperware container, and you (still in your p.j's) hawking one big one right in, no muss, no fuss. He leaves, and you get you results. Too bad it doesn't work that way. There is only one test for everyone and it requires more thought and planning than I can do right now.
This little brain teaser is completed by cramming a little cotton wad resembling a mini-tampon, under your tongue until it is saturated by your saliva, four times a day. You cannot eat certain things and you have to do it at certain times. You cannot brush your teeth or drink anything but water for thirty minutes beforehand, and you have to rinse your mouth out with "very cold water" three to five minutes before you cram the cotton. You have a specific vial for each time, that you cannot screw up, and you have to keep it all refrigerated for not more than three days before you mail it in, in an embarrassing little box that says "Live human specimen." I can only imagine what the little post office ladies thought was being shipped off to CA. As I attempted to do this thing correctly, I could feel my entire cortisol stash being decimated. The children all picked that day to be used by the Lord in my continuing ed class of "patience is a virtue." I will keep you informed on the latest developments. The week went downhill from there. That night I couldn't find my contact case, so I washed out a little sample of peppermint origins face wash and filled it with contact solution using it as a temporary case. The next morning, the first contact burned like fire and smelled minty as I placed it over my dilated pupil. Brennah and Maggie wanted to play with them, so I gave them each a contact for a toy. I just call it "creative homeschooling." Maggie asked for another one yesterday so I had to explain that they weren't really for fun. On the way to town the other day, Brennah told me that she wanted to be an animal doctor and a missionary. As I expressed my delight, Maggie interrupted with "When I grow up I want to plant corn!" I am headed off to Denver on Sunday, but will try to post from there. Love to all!